On the Twiddling of Thumbs in General

On Gainful Employment

Hello again. It was all supposed to be going a little more right now. Sadly I must report that it is not a little more right.

For one thing I haven't been screaming, nay drolly droning, into empty cyberspace with any regularity.

In order to preserve identities and dignities and such, suffice to say that the contract I accepted, despite my concerns has proved far less reliable than I was concerned it might be.

This equates to a very poor contract, more easily identified as casual labour. I suggested to the agent through whom I obtained this role that I should be employed (and paid) on a consultancy basis.

The staff are like characters from a cross between a bad soap and The Office (with Ricky Gervais, I'm not au fait with the US version that starts screening here next week I think). I could deal with this, were it not for the fact that they could not (to use an English phrase which I am sure translates) organize a piss-up in a brewery.

I missed one day's work because the kit hadn't turned up. When I went to site I discover I could have worked on the existing kit.

Half-way through that installation, I discover, as a result of chasing down the office for information, that a server had not been ordered and no-one had the balls or the political will to pressure the supplier to bring the delivery forward.

Resulting in NoozeHound being without work for a week and a half.

There is also a severe irony: The management were disgruntled by my suggestion that my employers were not very professional. I kid you not.

On Sporting Endeavours
(of others of interest, not of NoozeHound)

When last referring to the sporting pursuits of my beloved Arsenal (and not indulging in online japery) I mentioned the AZ Alkmar game.

Between then and last night I have witnessed two frustrating draws. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for those with a more vested interest than myself.

The papers today and comment in general is of the new crop of wonderkids at Arsenal. Steve Sturridge and Lee Dixon shared the view that neither Arsenal or Liverpool had changed significantly from last season, Liverpool were a two-man team and Arsenal were still frail in defence.

I think Liverpool could quite easily have brought about another frustrating lost lead last night and were unlucky not to get a penalty. I thought the arm on Watt was good for a pen too though.

I don't want to sign up for the 'writing Arsenal off' camp by any means, but two teams in AZ and the Hammers, neither setting fire to tables, mugged us of what looked like comfortable victories.

I know damn well that higher-reaching teams will punish us much more severely should we take our collective feet of the pedal with such alarming regularity. Something the lot from down the road will gleefully take advantage of too I should imagine. That really would be full circle and proof that we haven't progressed.

On Cinematic Entertainment and Inconsistencies of Plot

Returning me to Up. In addition to marvelling at the handiwork that had gone into the visual representation of a corduroy (I think) jacket; beyond the tears I shed at the start (serioulsy) the immense indignation I felt during the climactic battle.

When we meet Carl Fredrickson, he goes to the movies as a small boy to see news-reel footage of his adventurer hero, Charles Muntz. When he finds him again 60-odd years later he is every bit as fit as Carl. Ignoring the fact that a septuagenarian might have trouble trevailing large airborne objects, it is harder to ignore that an octogenarian would be higly likely to experience far greater obstacles to performing dangerous stunts.

No-one batted an eye. Great movie nonetheless.

On Sacrilege and Inaporpriate Cover Versions

I'm sure she is a very nice lady and I really do have nothing against her.

I have analysed my dislike and come up emty-handed. I just couldn't quite like what she's released to date. I heard her latest release this week. Not happy.

This is one of my most super-dooper favourites:



I can see how some sycophant might flatter Florence and her machine that the vocal would lend itself to Florence's own particular vocal charms, producing this:



Not the version they play on Radio 1, no less wrong for all of that. No matter how many remixes, it will still be WRONG.

Welcome to the disappointment.

It's Been a Long Time Baby

Hello, it's me.

I haven't checked the visitor stats yet, but I have strong suspicion I am talking to myself.

You are (probably not) reading quite possibly the most highfaluting, high-tech, energy-hungry personal journal in the world.

After months of daily updates, I've not dropped by in almost a week.

Arsenal won and have moved up to fourth - for the time being, MoneyCiteh play later and could change that. ECL in the week and a game against AZ Alkmar.

The spell-checker in the editor has stopped functioning - which shows my typing up as quite as inaccurate as it is.

Shamefully, when I have been on the PC after work it has been attenting the most trivial of matters, aside from a little work stuff and some admin.

No copy-writing, no pre-selling, no articles, no lenses and no study.

I think I can understand the motivation that fuelled the gold fever and habitual criminality.

I have spent most of my spare hours either playing bejewelled or Mafia Wars. Not especially well either.

I do miss my studies and the web stuff I was learning, albeit without  reward. Still on zero all round for anyone who is interested.

If I could get a second stream of income up and running, not necessarily excessive, say something in the region of $2,000 a month, it would make my contracting life a great deal easier.

Mrs NoozeHound (who heaven help me is in the process of leaving full-time employment for the altrnative challenge of being a part-time teaching assistant) would probably be a lot more accepting of me contracting if there was steady alternative income. Still more pressure on poor old NoozeHound's earning capacity.

Well, there I have my motivation. It would be far more productive than gangster tripping or diamond-swapping. It would be more productive than writing a free unread blog too though, wouldn't it.


I've just checked and my lenses and article between them have nearly 80 views!

I think that's more than all of this blog combined.
Robert Bleasdale is a nom de plume by the way. There it's out the bag.

Welcome to the disappointment. 

Hot Transfer News! Look Who Arsenal are Scouting

I wasn't planning on another post quite so soon, but had to break my silence when I heard this, frankly amazing, news...

The gentleman pictured below, none other than Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger himself, coffers swelled by the sales to Moneybags City of Adebooyar and Kolo Toure, is on the look out for some prime Argentinian beef...

Arsenal insiders have said that the manager has his well-honed scouting system casting a venerable eye over a Barcelona player.


The player in question, the man Arsene Wenger is looking at to make a sparkling addition to the already immensely talented Arsenal team is none other than...

Yes! As a result of an inside source in the London footballing media and confirmed by an Arsenal insider, Messi is going to sign for Arsenal.

Go here for the full story.

Footballing world, consider yourselves rocked.

Joany...

             ...welcome to the disappointment. 

Thank Goodness for 3-D Specs

In a fit of generosity today, NoozeHound took NoozHoundette and Mrs NoozHound to see 'Up' in 3-D.

If you've been living in a cave or off-world for a while, try this...

First up (no pun intended), but immense kudos to the costume guy. If there even is such a thing, the small mail-man's drill shorts and Mr Fredrickson's jacket. Impressive work.

- This is the guy that thinks the best bit of Ratatouille is the writhing mass of rat bodies and the best bit of Monsters Inc. is the track race and door distribution scene.

Now I don't want to be giving any spoilers so I have to be careful.

I've seen several trailers but there were many surprises to me in the film and I would hate to deprive anyone from experiencing them for themselves. I don't think I'm giving too much away...

No. On second thought's I might be.

Just in case for some bizarre reason you have arrived here at 'Unfinished, Discoloured...' and you haven't seen 'Up' but intend to, I'll revist this topic in a week or so.

Be warned.

Suffice to say for the time being, that it was a good job it was dark and I had glasses on.

There's been no proper football.

I have been: 

• busy
• knackered
• distracted with Mafia Wars
• short of content.

My Sennheiser Earphones have a broken connection - I am very sad.

I have been neglecting you haven't I? 

I haven't been listening to much music either.

I have a toothache.

Welcome to the disappointment 

Clever, Clever, NoozeHound

You are in the presence of greatness.

NoozeHound, under another non-da-plume is rocking it as an expert author. I kid you not....

"Hello NoozeHound,

Your article, "That fing wot you wrote" - has been accepted and published on EzineArticles.com:
linkety.link.link

You've also earned Expert Author status: link=expert=NoozeHound 

Your article will appear on our high-traffic home page within 48 hours:linkety-link.link

Your article has also been sent to our exclusive EzineArticles RSS
Feed and to our proprietary EzineArticles Email Alert Members."

How great is that? Zero to Hero in no time at all. Well, you may recall just how long it has taken to get said article into publication andin fact what a hiatous effect it had on my new revamped blogging career. It brought it to an abrupt halt.

Not making millions yet though:

Do you know..? It strikes me, this is the exact opposite of the 'generic' marketing system ads:
Black text on white background - check. Proof of earnings - check. Demonstration of wealth - to follow! 

As you may recall I returned to the world of paid employment this week (rather than giving up my 'boring 9 to 5).

He (my marketing mentor) did warn me and  it is the first few days since my feeder article finally went live.

Work seems to be going quite well, which is nice, thank you for asking.

Twitter is broken. I was checking my 'junk' account on the back of the breaches of security and noticed some interesting new followers. I was half-expecting to go along to Twitter and perform another cull of saucily-named little minxes all curiously wishing me well and suggesting a money-making site in exactly the same language.

Worse; some god-botherer and his chum were tweeting and re-tweeting all over my stream.

No call for that is there?

One DM intrigued me a little, or played to my ego and vanity, at least. They had responded to my autoresponder and adder.

It looked like 'a  lady'. Her name was Stella, Stella Marconi. 'Could you mention us on your page?' 'she' asked.

 Chivalrous to the last, sucker for a sob-story, weakness for the ladydeez, I took the time to check them out.

I don't think this is Stella herself...



Well you can at least hear the vocals in this one. I don't not like it, but it sounds very raw and not quite what I would call polished.

Being brutal, I think a change in vocalist may be required or a change in style at least. The teenager in the bedroom sound isn't really doing it for me.

I hope they make it mega and stick a small line on the back of a ridiculously over-prived commemorative program for the sell-out Wembley gig saying...

"YOU WAS WRONG NOOZEHOUND, YOU W*NK*R!"

In the meantime...

                              ....welcome to the disappointment.

Suffering on a Sunday and The Joy of Six

Suffering on a Sunday

NoozeHound currentl;y sports a three-inch burn across his right arm. A cooking injury, no less.

This may amaze those of you who know me even slightly.

Mrs NoozeHound is attending the church harvest lunch. It's a bring and share affair. This year she decided she would like to take a big pot of Chilli. Not being remotely churchy myself is the surprising bit.

Now it's dificult to be exactly certain, but Mrs NoozeHound says she loves my Chilli. It is damned fine, though I say so myself, but let's face it, it's not the most demanding of things to cook (burnt arm aside).

She asked for 'my recipe' as "...it's always so nice." 

It was as she began cooking it, having had me assemble all of the spices and provide her with a shopping list after checking what we had in the house, that she dropped in the sentence that I have since suspected to be her real motive for 'loving my chilli'. 

Mrs NoozeHound, part-way through chopping the onions, and asking what she should do next, drops the immortal line..."You can make it for me if you like....?" 

Oh yes. I would have loved that.

As it is, I ended up stirring it more than she last night and this morning and t'was I that broke the chocolate into the bubbling cauldron this morning - after I had received my burn. Well, my suspicions are now firmly aroused.

Not that me cooking is especially unusual, particularly while I have been assessing my options and working on new strategies for employment - yeah, the out of work thing that I've been doing.

No doubt hearing how wonderful Mrs NoozeHound thinks my Chilli is you are dying to get the recipe.

Try this, the recipe gives a warm heat in the mouth but doesn’t punish your butt.

500g - Cheap beef steak - cut into small cubes

1 Green Pepper - chopped 1/2" squares

1 Red Pepper - chopped 1/2" squares

about an inch of Chipotle Chilli - finely chopped.

1 carton of Tomato Juice

1 carton of Pasata (sieved tomatoes)

2 400g tins of chopped tomatoes

2 large onions - finely chopped

2 cloves garlic - finely chopped

2 stalks of celery – chopped

1 400g tin red kidney beans

4 pack 330ml bottles Mexican/American beer

2 - Beef Oxo cubes

1 dessert spoon generic Hot Chilli powder

1 dessert spoon generic Mild chilli powder

1 dessert spoon Cayenne Pepper

1 heaped teaspoon Paprika

1 heaped teaspoon Coriander

1 heaped teaspoon Cumin powder

1 good grind of black pepper

1 teaspoon sea salt

4 squares of Lindt 72% or 85% Dark chocolate - don't sub with Bourneville it's poor.

 - plus you can feed the rest to your lady.

Chilli is supposed to be a one pot dish.

Because I don’t have a pot wide enough and shallow enough I have to use a frying pan and a big pot.  Like that I know that the key ingredients have had their fry-up before setting them to boil/simmer.

I prefer to use cheap steak because it will go proper soft after the amount of cooking time and you don’t get the fat you do with mince – if you substitute for mince, try and scoop of the fat – it will ruin the dish.

Chop up the steak into loosely 2cm cubes.  Remove any fat/gristle.

Chop the onions, garlic , peppers and celery and chilli.

Now gently fry the meat so it’s brown all over, drain off any fat and spoon into the saucepan.

Now fry up the veggies for a few minutes to soften them up and bring out their flavours, schweet.

You’ll get the fragrance of that chilli come up now – cool huh?

Drain off with a perforated spoon and lob into the saucepan – make sure to get all of it.

Empty into the saucepan the two tins of tomatoes (you know to open the tins right?)

Give it a good stir.

Turn on the heat – high.

Drain the kidney beans and luzz em in – that brine is rank man.

Stirring the pot, empty in the carton of Pasata and the tomato juice.

Got to the fridge and get out two of the beers.

Open them, empty one into the saucepan.

Sip the other while putting in the Oxo and all of the seasoning, stirring constantly.

As it approaches the boil, watch out – the mutha will spit like a bitch and all that red stuff will proper stain your clothes guy.

Keep stirring, then reduce to the heat to really low.

Enjoy the beer – but leave the other two for enjoying with your meal – neat eh.

Go back every ten minutes or so and give it a good stir – you so don’t want it to stick and put a burnt flavour through the whole thing – that just sucks – trust me on that.

Do this for about 2 hours, stirring every so often.

The last stir, turn back up the heat to 3/4s.

Break the chocolate in and give it a good stir to it’s all proper moogled in.

Now taste it.

Don’t be doing no double-dipping – this is important – it’s gonna sit a while.

Does it need any minor adjustments?

Is it missing anything?

It should rise a sweat on your brow and be noticeably but not uncomfortably hot in your mouth.

Just right – Excellent.

Turn it off and cover it.  – Depending on the time of year, leave it on the stove or if you think that it might be to warm, put it in the fridge.

Leave it to sup up the flavours for 24 hours, eg cook it Friday evening, eat it Saturday evening.  

Worse cook it Saturday morning eat it Saturday night.

(You can eat it straight away, but it won’t be at it’s best and it seems a shame.)

When you're ready to eat, warm it up again. Slowly, stirring all the time.

Serve up in a bowl, sprinkle some mature cheddar on top and eat with a big chunk of fresh bread. I find Pain de Campaign goes really well, buttered or not.

Eat with a spoon and use the last bit of bread to wipe around the bowl.

Enjoy with a beer.

Afterwards, continue your Tex-Mex adventure with Margueritas or perhaps Tequila slammers.

Then some Acapulco Gold to Panama Red to round the evening off perfectly :)

The Joy of Six

This post was a game of two halves. I started it, hopped off to watch the football , then came back to finish. I was a little late leaving and when I found a working stream  the mighty Arsenal were already one-nil down.

That was not my proposed script for this game and fortunately nor was it Arsenal's. When Tommy V's equaliser scorched in, I thought that was the sign that things were about to change in our favour.

Dunn must have been oblivious to this fact as he proceeded to score at the wrong end and we were a goal down again. It was a sucker-punch against the run of play.

My stream was slightly slow and it made it look like old Pathe footage but in glorious colour. What was even more apparent was Arsenal's slick passing and speed of movement. Robinson's goal was under a constant barrage and two minutes later Cesc played one of his killer defence-splitting passes and RVP drew us level again.

The onslaught continued and Arshavin gave us our first lead of the game ten minutes from half-time.

Second half saw Theo on for Rosicky who'd played well was unlucky not to get on the score sheet. Having seen Blackburn take the lead twice, while being dominant we still looked a bit shaky at the back and could have seen ourselves in the same position as them.

We needn't have worried. Captain Fantastic steps up and thumps one past Robinson. 4-2.
More sparkling movement and Theo gets his first goal bonus for many a moon.

Bendnter came on and was starting to really frustrate me. He kept running at the Blackburn defence only for them to relive him of the ball without too much trouble. Several times he set out on a beat everyone run, beating few or none. losing the ball and breaking up the attack.

I thought it would stay like this, then Bendtner ran across the edge of the box, got in front of goal and leathered it into the bottom-right corner, off the post and past Robinson once more.

The joy I reference above relates to the number of scorers rather than the number of goals. It was a hell of a performance today and I doubt for once second there was anything so scintillating to watch on the other side of town this afternoon.

Well, fat Sam,
- welcome to the disappointment.

Hot Stuff, Cold Comfort, Clever Ending

It occurred to me, immediately prior to commiting to blog, that I could probably separate this into three posts.

My next thought was that I could write one post and save the rest in document or draft form. Draft form, there's an idea...

For my similarly boom-bust affected chums and any other readers who find their October home bar equally decimated, I take great pleasure in bringing you some Credit-Crunch Cocktails.

NoozeHound's Drinks of Desperation


Turn out the cupboards, look for anything alocoholic to drink. After establishing all the bottles of Grenadine are not alcoholic and therefore of zero use without Tequila, grab the Boozey Blackcurrant and Nut Juice.
 




 (they look nothing like this)

•  Frankirstein's Monster

Bottle of 'Sisca - Creme de Cassis' bought on a crap trip to Calais with a demeted woman.
One bottle Frangelico, purchased because it was on a list of shooter requirements.
    
Try not to sniff the nut juice but pour about 50ml into a glass. Top off with the Creme de Cassis until it's tolerable. Don't breathe it in, the nut smell lingers.

• Cox's Crunch

Seek out aforementioned bottle of Frangelico. Pour about 50ml into a big wine glass. Drown with Apple Juice and quaff until slightly giddy. Again, don't breathe in, that nut stuff is vile.

•  Unfair Comparison

Go back to the woefully under-stocked drinks cabinet. Seek out the remaining half bottle of Triple Sec (left over from the Margueritas when you drank all the Tequila) and pour about 50ml into a large wine glass. Top off with Apple Juice until safe to drink. Neck quite quiggerly.

So long as you have consumed the mandatory bottle of wine, I can more or less guarantee any of the drinks listed above to get you more pissed, threaten heart-burn and not make you violently sick.


In other news, the interview went pretty well and NoozeHound returns to the world of gainful employment first thing Monday morning.

Realistically, money will be really good. I wish I could have cracked that internet millionaire thing though. 'Working from home' sure helped make sense of the child care requirement.

Sadly, no matter how much analysis I did, all of my 'niches' seemed to lie in extremely competition-rich areas, like food and sex and drugs and rock and roll.

Remember my 'speciality' that I thought I could get an ebook and small offline business from. I'm still working on that as my 'topic' for copy-writing 101.

Shortly to be returning to the role of wage slave;

welcome to the disappointment. 

Proper Job Stuff

NoozeHound has an interview today. No update last night and I'm only popping in now.

After repeatedly trying to watch the game in jerkavision last night, I missed something on BBC 4.

The stream I managed to stay with, or more accurately that kept coming back despite the shutdowns, ended up so far behind the game had finished and the players had given their post-match interviews before Arshavin scored the second.

The BBC have gone all retro-tech nostalgic. Electric Dreamsseries of programmes started last night, inconveniently during the Arsenal game.

Due to my stop-start elongated stream presentation, I turned Sky Sports News off and onto the Charlie from The Guardian talking about gaming. All good but I missed most of it.

At the end the announcer did a 'if you like that, you love these' moment. It was for a top piece of nostalgia in NoozeHound's book; Tomorrow's World.

I skipped along to the BBc archive and found somethign for you. Because of theinteview I didn't want to pull a late one, so saved it for now.

This is exactly how NoozeHound currently goes about his day, interacting with his home computer terminal. In fact it is how I write this blog.

On a different tangent, On the nation's second most popular breaksfast show this morning, but certainly no tlimited to this morning, Moyle's parodies seemed to gain a lot of discussion.

At the risk of invoking the ire of the mountaineer, they're not very funny. They were to start with, a bit, but I think they're flogging a dead horse. The last one sold some units so I guess it must've turned profit for someone, hence number two.

I hope this proves the difficult second album and the whole concept quietly dies away.

Welcome to the disappointment. 

Thoughts on the iPlayer

The BBC I-Player, http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer , I find I use it more and more, primarily due to my dislike of commercials*.

To my surprise today I found the movie 'Point Break' on the i-player. Surprise, because you can't watch the football on the iplayer because of rights issues.

I stand slightly corrected, because you can watch Newcastle v Ipswich on there. (I'm sure Roy Keane is getting every penny of his license fee value watching that!) 

For the sake of accuracy then; you can't watch Premiership Football on the iplayer. 

(Note to self: Ctrl-Z brings about unwanted results in the Google editor)
Once again, from the top...

On ITVs online offering , the snappily titled, itvplayer, for instance I cannot watch the third season of Supernatural  because of the rights issue. They have now chosen to show at 3am in the morning. I don't own a PVR, still providing house-space to a geriatric video recorder. We missed an opportunity to pick up a cheap PVR when they were clearing the Setanta-branded boxes and haven't really been motivated since.

I'm waffling. It's an insecurity born from not posessing cutting edge consumer electronics.


I don't 'tape' Supernatural at 3am from ITV3. If I could watch it on the itvplayer I surely would. Crap as I find ITV mostly these days, they're not alone.


A few years late, I discovered the end of an episode of The Wire on BBC2 (I think) late one evening. Trotted along to the iplayer - no joy.

Channel 5 have recently started a new series. FlashForward. Same rules. Big feature, no re-run on the web. I dare say that if I went lookign I could probably find a torrent though.

As you can't access the video download streaming sites from outside of the the hosting country (I've not even had success using proxies to get Hulu and ABC for instance)  I don't see the problem here. To my mind the producers are losing out not sellign the online rights to the purchasing network at the same time as the TV broadcast rights. Seems like they are clinging to an old model.

I'm listening to Young Lion's Dance Hall M1X on the iplayer. The thing is I was in the mood for some reggae. I searched for 'reggae' on the iPlayer.

My BBC came up somewhat short. I was offered a coolection of shows, with a mention of The Upsetters on Don Letts' Radio 6 show as the only proper hit. Several Dance Hall shows, but no other reggae to be found.

Quickly back to Point Break. I watched it (again) last night. I wasn't about to watch it again (again) onthe iplayer, in addition ot me watching 'on air' until gone midnight last night, when I own the DVD. It struck me jus thow bad some of Keanu Reeve's acting really was. Most noticeably in his one-to-one scenes with Swayze. It was Ted Logan at his wooden best. Still love that movie though.

The government seems to keep hitting the BBC over the head about their commercial activities. I don't confess to know the real ins and outs of it, but if it saves the licesnse fee going up, it suits me. Conversely it doesn't justify paying Wossy £18m either. It's not as if he could defect anywhere else and get a better deal.

It strikes me though, that in the iPlayer (and their content naturally), the BBC have a killer app with killer content. Why not monetize it? They've done all of the hard development work. It would be easy to add a second strand with a subscription model for 'the rest of the world'.

I've tried internetradio365. I wasn't about to pay for a service that was awful for free.

I read an article in The Guardian bigging up Spotify for the iPhone. I thought to myself, 'maybe a tenner a month for somone prepared to fork out the best part of £40 a month for an iPhone might make sense to them' but to me, £50 for a phone that plays music - music you can't even keep - is certainly not my idea of value. 

I read The Guardian, more than any other paper and it's the only newspaper site I read. That article made be think of it as a yuppy club. One that caters to people who spend in excess of £50 a month on their phones - even if they do share the Spottify subscription.

Away from capitallist excess, they are saying on the news that we could see a 4 degree rise in temperature by the middle of the century. On the basis of the oil running out (£1.04 per litre - remeber the complaints when it went above a pound - all quiet not though) I shouldn't think it will make much difference beyond hastening the demise of the species.

Perhaps Swine Flu is just the start.

Welcome to the disappointment. 

Passing Fads

It's been a difficult few days. I got pissed several times.

I posted pissed, wrote bollocks and came back and deleted it the next day.

Friday morning I found this... 

Projection on Buildings from NuFormer Digital Media on Vimeo.

It's good isn't it? I thought so, and took it away wtih me to share with you.

I mentioned our legal dealings. Justice was done and Mrs NoozeHound won. By her own admission it was a hollow vistory and the case would never have come to court were it not for the total lack of human deceny of our county council, the bastards.

I also found an item about Starbucks suing a cartoonist. This warrant comment, I thought. Turns out the item was about eight years old,hardly qualifying it as news item. Here's a news item: NoozeHound has never set foot in a StarBucks. Ever. And has no intention of ever doing so.

NoozeHound loves coffee and is the proud owner of a Gaggia Espresso machine.

Dad duties saw me nipping out several times today. This meant I was listening to the radio; FiveLive and TalkSport specifically. Stan Collymore was proffering his theories and the stats required for relegation and winning the premiership. The talk was of Pompey being doomed and Chelsea cruising to the champions throne.

Then Chelsea went to Wigan, got sucker-punched and lost 3-1. Shame Spurs won and you've got to start worrying for Burnley.

Not that I have any love for Liverpool, but it was wonderful to see Phil Brown's team on the wrong end of a proper drubbing.

RVP was saying how we have to beat teams like Fulham if we want to win the title. Or words to that effect. We made hard work of it, but we did exactly that with RVP making good to get the only goal of the game. I was in the car again for most of the first half and most of the second half.

I'm just about to watch the highlights. It couldn't have been much of a game, it's that far down the order but it's another win when it was a loss last year. 3 points in the bag.

United won as well. They're top on goal difference.

Welcome to the disappointment. 

The Learning Zone & The Nonsense Zone

Mrs NoozeHound, displaying her characteristic belief in me might question which was which. I shall save you, dear reader, from any such confusion.

The Nonsense Zone

I created, mostly for my own amusement, but with you in mind a very interesting and entirely spurious fact this morning. Upon it's conception I vowed to share it with you...

 

Mini Viva cheeky little pop princesses they are, one a Geordie the other a Manc are said to be modern equivalents of Mel & Kim. I don't remember either of those carrying puppy fat, but I can sort of see the comparison. I did smile when the girls 'fessed to having never been to Tokyo - you would have thought the record company might have seen that question coming. Anyway, away from the malicious and unfounded bitching, I created an interesting fact about the name of the band.

Despite their disparate origins, the girls, Britt and Frankee, ended up living next door to each other. They went to different schools and didn't get on for a number of years. One evening, one of the duo heard the other singing through their bedroom wall. The listener began harmonising and the two hit upon the idea for a band. Sadly they couldn't think of a name that reflected the young, fresh 'n' funky, dynamic groove the two found they could generate. They thought and thought but nothing came. Were they doomed to be a good idea whose time never came?

Depressed, they slumped down against their fathers' cars in their respective driveways.

"I know!" shouted Frankee, "we turn around and the first thing we see is what we shall call the band. You go first. Madferrit" 

"Wai aye" replied Britt, turning around and banging her head on the immaculate chrome trim.

Neither girl was especially bright. They were each leaning against the rear-bumper of a motor vehicle. As they turned, somewhat logically, one saw the word "Mini" and the other "Viva".

'Viva Mini' were born. They toured for several years until a record company executive saw them, signed them and put them through the R&D machine. A genius at Geffen looked long and hard at the bands' name, deciding it needed a complete remake. The rest is history.

The Learning Zone

The dedicated and fortunate amongst you will remember my early posts about the struggle I had over signing up for the Niche Profit Programme and parting with the initially hidden fees.

While undocumented, my studies have continued. Some I have documented, others I have chosen different topics to blog you with.

This week I chose a new set of manuals. They are significantly weightier than a great many of their counterparts and I have found them refreshingly well-written. My previous mentor manual was also well-written but he had cunningly blocked parts out and structured the book around accompanying work-books you had to join a pay scheme to access.

I was never likely to become a paid subscriber, but I followed the initial stages of the course. I think the prescription must have been a little out of date though. The first steps were:

Affiiliate account from Clickbank  ===> Choose some content ====> Join Squidoo =====> Write article and publish =====> join Ezine ===> write a few articles and publish them ===>link-back to your squidoo lens ===> generate traffic.

I mentioned the article process here. The Ezine article is still yet to be published.

The new one really wants to sell me a hosting plan. The planning steps and the basic self-analysis are very good though and can be applied to any start-up. About a quarter of the way through, another manual on copy-writing is referenced. This is similarly well-written. Consequently I printed the first one and spent a large part of today, to the detriment of my usual loafing and side-tracking, studying, planning from and reading the copy writing manual.

I've kicked around a business idea I've had ticking on a back-burner (you have to use what you have) and will test (eventually) my copy-writing acumen on this new project. A postcard is not really a fair comparison for a sales-letter, but we've all gotta start somewhere.

I've had proper job interest too.

The stresses of the legal system await tomorrow.

Welcome to the disappointment. 

Rubbish Radio, Magic Mixes and Funny Films

NoozeHound does not like lady DJs. From the 'fluff' they stick on in the morning shows to the ones with their own day time shows. Of late I am alternating my listening to Radio 1 and Radio 1 Extra at home and 1 and 2 in the car.

The delights of the iplayer mean I can listen to Moyles in the morning then switch to Rampage's mix (roughly 2:15 in) just before they Moyles & Co annoy me with car park catchphrase and (as was) Jo Whiley, now Fearne Cotton.

I've listened to snatches of Jo Whiley and Edith Bowman in the past. They grated. Can't help it, they just did.

When 'kitchen time' coincided with the Chart Show I might listen. Fearne Cotton wasn't always on there and there was usually Reggie too when she was. The programme is obviously aimed at a young market, a far cry from Alan Freeman and as I recall DLT of my youth. I'm not a fan. I doubt that bothers 'my BBC' especially, I'm not in the demographic.

Anyway, after I have listened to the (roughly 45-minute) Rampage mix I can then switch to the live feed or not depending on my moods and wants. That was the listening pattern I had adopted.

Painfully aware of the change - there was much indulgence of Whiley's departure - I thought I would give it a chance. Avoiding the overly-long handover from Moyles, I 'tuned' back in for the start of the Fearne Cotton show.

I really did give it a try but didn't last very long I have to admit. I didn't time it, but I think it was only five minutes into my listening when she began going on about how she was too old to fancy the young ones so fancied the dad (shrugs shoulders) in Gossip Girl. Which is exactly why I can't abide female DJs. I clicked off the iplayer and whispered a silent hope that my clicks were recorded by 'my BBC' and it went into a report somewhere.

Fearne Cotton, not broadcasting to me. Because of her clothing range and 'other work', most of the pictures of Fearne Cotton seem to be zany or bizarre.

I went outside again today. Inadvisable but that's me; livin' on the edge. NoozeHoundette really wanted to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Her Mum was not in the least interested so yours truly was the chosen companion. We'd seen the trailer and it looked OK and made a note to watch it at the local 3D cinema, some 25 minutes and £10 more away. NoozeHoundette received a movie card for her birthday for the local multiplex from my sister. My recent lack of liquidity was brushed aside owing to this card and NoozeHoundette offered to treat me. I was expressly forbidden from letting the child pay for both of our tickets, but it was cheap Tuesday so the pain was lessened. Two good seats for a net cost to NoozeHound of under four quid.

I didn't really have particularly high hopes for the film, but I really quite enjoyed it. I've read subsequently that there were complaints it was not like the book. There's a book?


I laughed a lot. There were a lot of visual gags, some of which I found myself laughing at alone. It was a small audience and apparently not of the highest intellect.

Of one thing I am virtually certain. There is a scene on the dock, around when Flint meets Sam, I think. If I recall correctly there is a seagull. I am looking at the sea thinking "I bet that cost a lot."

The film is nicely coloured but the characters are very big-eye puppy/duckling, oversize head. The sea, I thought, was amazingly textured and detailed. Massive props to the guy that did 'the sea' in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. I don't imagine for one second another soul inside that movie theatre had that thought go through their head.

When the film finished it struck me I had seen it all before. There was little point in bouncing it off of NoozeHoundette, much of the sources I was quoting were from before she was born.

Spoiler alert - there follows comparisons that will give the entire game way. You are warned...






A man-made device launched into space grows and takes on a life of it's own. The planet, because of man's disposable life-style, has become overrun with garbage and uninhabitable. The trash is taking over.

It's 'a Perfect Storm' we are told. They are going to feel the effects all over the world. This will be a global disaster. Our hero is forced into action using his intellect.Taking a small piece of code, the hero, a geek, skinny with bad hair, flies up to the enemy with a view of getting to the centre and installing the code to disable the machine. 

Elsewhere, Arsenal went past West Brom to the next leg of the Carling Cup, winning 2-0 as they did. It wasn't on telly and there was no highlights I could find. I didn't check Sky sports though. Being an Arsenal game , not without it's controversy and the scumbags at ITV must be guttted they missed the chance to video-hound another Arsenal player.

Happy Birthday Kay - your card is sitting beside me.

Welcome to the disappointment. 

10MB Super-Fast Always-On Fibre Optic Broadband...

Almost, but not quite Mr Branson.

I have the titular 10MB Super-Fast Fibre Optic Broadband. Despite my hunting for it, I could not find a reference to the always on tag. I'm sure they used to use it but I couldn't track he actual quote down. I guess they dropped it.

NoozeHound turned on his PC this morning, well it was this afternoon to be precise. I was seized by the urge to indulge in some electronic martial arts and feline torturing, Tekken 5 and SingStar by their other names.

Once logged in, somewhat shamefully, I 'popped'  onto FaceBook - just to bank any profit and check on mafia. No really. I don't contact anyone. Just bank, do jobs, whack some lesser mafias, juggle collections and add some crew if I can. That's it. Mafia Wars has effectively killed the friendship contact aspect of FaceBook entirely. I suspect everypne will have to hit 501 members fairly quickly to avoid being the obvious small food fish of the member-limit big fish.

My destination was irrelevant. DNS errors all round. Usual round of resetting the modem. Repeated, endless Synching attempts. The line is down.

Dig out the bill, phone the 0845 support line. Listen to the options. This is the billing line. Check the bill again. Call the service line. 

'There is a problem with cyberguard,we hope to have it resolved soon.'

No mention of there being an outage.

I call the 0845 customer service line. Eventually I speak to Paul. I suspect Paul was in Mombai and Paul's name wasn't Paul.

We do account validation and I tell him the problem. I pre-empt him by telling him I have done all of the reboots. He asks if he can put me on hold and consult with a colleague.

Cheesy hold music, not sympathetic to a mildly irritated customer - you used to own a record company you say Mr Branson? And a Radio Station? Hmmm.

"Hello this Ahmed. Can I have your account number please...?"

If you recall I had already given my account number to 'Paul'. I indulge him. Noting how unrewarding this customer service experience is becoming. I inform Ahmed of this. He does, what I can only translate as a telephonic shrug of the shoulders. It's fairly apparent that he doesn't care.

It is at this point Mrs NoozeHound starts to remind me that she told me not to go to Virgin. 'They're always on WatchDog for crap service.'

I repeat my patter to Ahmed. He listens to me and puts me on hold 'to check'. He returns to inform me the line is down. In the words of Conan-Doyle; 'No Shit Sherlock!'

I launch into a good-natured tirade, petitioning Ahmed  for an explanation as to why, if the line was down, it was not reported on the 'free' service line.

Worsening the situation he tells me it's been down since this morning, but it takes a long time to update the service line. I go to lengths to point put how unacceptable it is that Virgin Media are unable to put a message on a service line and how any network service has a duty to inform it's user-base of an outage at the earliest opportunity. I heard him smile, the smile of disinterested tolerance. followed by another telephone shrug. 'It will be resolved by 8:30 at the latest.' He tells me, I suspect in a bid to shut me up.

I resist, telling him Virgin are crap. That I had used BT copper for years and not experienced an outage - it's true. My phone never went dead and my ISP dropped once in five years. I have had Virgin for three months and this is my third outage.

A recent WatchDog item claimed I should sing my complaint, Virgin were being taken to task for billing dead people and not switching the person on the bill in the event of one partner dying.

Perhaps I should add this to my Amazon Wishlist...

I picked up The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes (The Sandman)  to re-read this morning; reminding me of one of the unfinished collections I am hopelessly lost in the middle of due to lack of funds.

I will do that graphic novel discussion, I will...

Welcome to the disappointment. 

Is There A Special Entry Under 'Wigan' in the Asscoation Football Rules Book?

So, does Mike Jones have something against booking Wigan players?

Defying belief, he has refereed them for just short of 152 minutes of football without showing a single card to a Wigan player. Does the Chester-born official have a special soft-spot for The Latics (I don't know what that is either) ? Is, as asked in the title some special rule in the Association Football Rule Book, listed under 'W':

Wigan - If at all possible, overlook their clumsy displays of tackling; ignore them leaving the foot in, play non-existent advantages and wherever possible - despite physical evidence to the contrary - infer the opponents are somehow simulating their injuries whilst avoiding the dismissive 'get up' gesture that gives the game away.

What a shame then, that Tommy, Tommy, Tommy V, Tommy V, Tommy V, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy V, Thomas Vermaelen, spoiled Mr Red-headed Pillock Jones day by opening the scoring with a leaping and perfectly legitimate header to make it One-Nil to the Arsenal. We like that score.

Not that I was counting, but it certainly appeared that every challenge that a Wigan player made was excessively physical. Screaming like a madmen at Mr Jones (via the computer screen) that he was unaware of his specific duties, seemed to have little or no effect on the ginger tossers attitude toward those cheeky scamp Latics' studs-up sliding challenges, body-checks or plain old-fashioned kicking. Until of course Alex Song commits (an agreeably) bookable offence and Hey Presto! There is a yellow card, previously particularly well-hidden in the pocket of the ginger twat, AKA Mike Jones.

Wigan players continued up-ending Arsenal players all over the pitch until half-time, unfettered by the rules of the game or the referee's authority, or lack of it.

The second-half gets under way. More of the same in both senses of the word. The Belgian defender makes it number two. Possession and pressure is almost exclusively one-way and culminates in our Tom spanking one into the top left corner past a beaten Kirkland. About five minutes later Wigan receive their first yellow card and not before time, if my opinion counts for anything. Gomez is the unlucky one as it could have been any of half a dozen to pick up the first booking.

 It's almost exclusively Arsenal possession and attacks on the Wigan goal. If they look to break out, almost all attempts to get out of their half end in one of the midfielders or occasionally defenders, taking the ball off of them and redistributing it.

Much to my surprise Wigan have a shot. On target. I'm not certain I remember them having any more.

Martinez subs a couple and they run about a bit.

Eduardo pokes one in, off Eboue's calf and Melchiot's (I think) shin to beat Kirkland again. Three nil. They seem to have given the goal to Eduardo, so Emanuel is, despite appearances, not thanking God, enough.

The commentary, the bit in English, I had trouble following the Arabic, suggested one of the subs was eager to prove himself to Martinez. This was evident by him bringing renewed vigour into the 'Wigan can't out-play so we must out-kick Arsenal' agenda. Scharner, after 'showing his commitment', uncharacteristically gets booked.

 Later he slides in in on RVP, just inside the area, delivering another ankle injury for the oft-wounded striker. Scharner stays down, rolling around a little, only natural after kicking someone's ankles, presumably under the 'I'm injured too, so you can't book me' rule.

He needn't have worried. Mike Jones was refereeing.

At the death Cesc makes it four nil with a nice finish. He doesn't look happy though, Commentary says he's carrying an injury. I hope that's it.

Mike Jones has gone on record saying his favourite game of all time was the one he refereed when Wigan played Hull. Wigan won 5-0. Go figure.

On a final-ish note, the Wigan fans started boo-ing Eduardo, or more, I noticed it, toward the end of the game.  Like their team, they lack both a clue and class. Why were they not booing when Wigan's approach to the game was stopping Arsenal play by 'letting them know they were there'?

To condemn 'diving' as cheating and tolerate repeated foul-play is rank hypocrisy.

3 points. Four goals.Three Scorers.

Those stats gloss over the performance of the ref and foul-play of the opposition. Suppose it had not all been Arsenal. What then. It might be a game of two halves, but there seems to be a real shortage of fairness.

Welcome to the disappointment.