What's the Total Opposite of a Marketing Mogul?

I've been soldiering on, collecting knowledge throughout the web. I now have a figurative trunk-full of free web content; digital books and useful software that I can give away for free or sell, often for $27. I have PLR content. I have MRR content. I have email courses and articles.

I have been reading various sure-fire strategies for internet wealth. Considering questions like 'how to get better traffic'.

I have content coming out of my ears. I've evaluated Twitter strategies.

Earlier I set up WordPress on my vanity website. That was quite exciting - little things pleasing little minds. Of course because it's a free host and having my CV and my email hosted, there won't actually be any room to put up any content, but it was useful experience.

I mooched about Digg, Stumble, popurls and Twitter, looking for inspiration and trends to include in my blogging.

Later on in the day I checked out Google Analystics.

Have you ever been slapped around the face with a wet fish?

I haven't. I can honestly say, of the small variety of inanimate objects I have had the misfortune to be assaulted with, a wet, or even moist fish has not been one of them.

If I were to be assaulted with a wet fish, I have a strong suspicion I know the feeling one would experience following the actual blow.

You see, I had checked on my Adsense earnings a few times. Meagre as they were, they did register. When I plugged Unfinished into Google Analytics and got it all set up I left it. I went off around the web accumulating tips and tricks, bonuses and additional benefits.

Then, fatigued by my study I tabbed back to newly set up Google Analytics account. I had a bit of a poke around and thought I'd check out the reports.

I found out where in the world my visitors come from. I found out how many of them were unique and new.  What language they spoke and what browser they viewed the site with.

Or I would have done.

What the report stated, was something of a shock. Now, were it not for one special circumstance, it would probably be rather embarrassing. Here, see for yourself...

The irrefutable, undeniable truth. No-one has ever visited Unfinished. Despite my adult content, well cheeky bum shot. My shameless name-dropping Steve Jobs, Apple and Snow Leopard. Bloody cheek that was as well. I did it yesterday, Wired do it today, get front page Digg. Bastards.

This dire, woeful performance is worse than even I expected. All the hours I have put in to lay down King Content to the immense cash-cow the blog of my dreams was to be.

I haven't submitted it to the blog listings and I have yet to master SEO optimization.

I have been harbouring thoughts of changing the design, particularly because when I view it in Opera the comments box doesn't show up properly. That and the links don't underline. Bloody good job no-one came really. You'd all be terribly confused!

I was worried, as I have mentioned previously, that I was suffering Analysis Paralysis. I freely admit that I don't have a specific theme for Unfinished. Current Affairs? News? I dunno.

This is the problem for any commercial project for me too. I don't know what niche to blog about.

In answer to the question at the top. I think that would be me.

Welcome to the disappointment.