Well grizzly murder fans, here we are back for more FML pain.

 STBEMNH returned Thursday evening. I had steeled myself for I'm not sure what, but she was easy-enough going and interacted by phone a few times about arrangements for the NoozeHoundette.

Because of a misunderstanding we missed NoozeHoundettes Brownie Sports Day.  STBEMNH said she didn't feel like cooking, so we could have Fish & Chips. When it came around it emerged she had rushed out without her purse so could I get it? I didn't really mind and was even trying to dismiss my fears as paranoia.

After I got in, immediately after dinner I tried a few questions about her previous evening.


* Readers of a sensitive or naive disposition should stop reading here; the following tale of woe include details of what real people living together experience and discuss.


She complained that she had come-on again, after only having been on a few weeks previously. I expressed that I hoped she hadn't come-on in her friends bed. She said she hadn't.


As this previously mentioned friend's partner was reportedly very jealous, I curiously asked how come he was away each Wednesday?  The answer was a fluff-off "Oh, he goes out with his friends."


Later I asked about the friend's child. What she was like compared to the NoozeHoundette?


- "A really good little girl who does as she's told.  Why are you asking all this?" she positively rankled, annoyed at the questioning. A little too irked to be anything other than tell-tale. Or at least sniffing strongly of guilt and awkwardness.


But nonetheless, I had nothing conclusive so left it there.  She complained of me coming in and out (she now lives exclusively in the bedroom, not even having her meals downstairs - we sleep separately - me on the couch) and wanted to be left in peace.


I did exactly that. Went downstairs, did some clearing up and left her in peace.


Fussing after the cat she came down, naked. I hadn't seen her naked and upright in sometime; she had lost a bit of weight and looked fantastic. Still trying, I sent her a text telling her how good she looked, disarming it with the additional clause 'in a girly way'.


Sometime later I went to the loo and after popped in to ask her something while I was upstairs.


To borrow a phrase from Cher "...well I lost everything Darlin' then and there..."


It's funny, the total and irrefutable universality of some non-verbal communication and body-language. How the minute you lay your eyes on it you know, unflinchingly, what is before your eyes.


STBEMNH was naked in bed, pulling herself up onto her raised pillows, edging up with her elbows. Her Android was tucked under her left ear, a girlish, cooed 'mmm' spoken into the phone and a smile on her face. She looked ever so slightly shocked, but then not enough to put her off of her stride. She flashed me a momentary enquiring look.


I palmed up, felt flustered and apologised for disturbing her.

I was so overwhelmed with heart-ache I could not speak. Confirmation. Finally.


I paced around the kitchen. I paced around the lounge. I paced from the kitchen to the lounge to the kithcen. I sat down. I stood up. I went to the foot of the stairs. I turned and paced the downstairs once again. I returned to the stairs and ascended them, I burst (gently but briskly) into the room.


"I need to talk to you. Call me when your are off of the phone please."

There was a long delay, I assume the new paramour was told I was being difficult - there was no rush that was for sure.

"Well? What's so important?"

"I love you." I opened "If you are seeing someone else, I can't take it. I can't stay and watch it."

She went into detail how she was not seeing someone. Not defensively, but concluded with,
'yet.'


"We will never be together again NoozeHound. You have done too much; you were right we do not like each other and we have nothing in common."


I will paraphrase her,  but her gist was to the effect that I must secure a permanent position, get a loan and get the kitchen fixed up so we can sell the house.  Until such time it is best for NoozeHoundette that we stay living separately together for financial reasons.

No one wants my love.

Before leaving the room, I asked had she spent the night with him. 

She said 'No' in a weak fashion. Her eyes looked down and left.

She is not mine.

Welcome to the disappointment.