A Quiet Sadness

Changing times in NoozeHound land.

I am experiencing something of an emotional malaise.

Well,it was a definite weekend. I got blown out Friday night - for the second successive attempt with this individual friend.

When I bumped into an old acquaintance on Thursday, out of the blue, for the second time in a year, in a very odd fashion, I got the idea that fate may be lending a hand.

Taking that into consideration, I took the long view that perhaps fate (or whatever unseen set of circumstances or coincidence work for you) was sending me a gentle message that the failure to hook-up for a second time was, perhaps, for a reason.

So my Friday was spent in alone with my anaesthetics.

Saturday I had the NoozeHoundette for the day. We bowled and played air hockey. We went to the pictures (AstroBoy - which we both enjoyed) and had an impromptu picnic in the park. A trip to the barbers - me - and a trip to the market to buy a super-soaker - NoozeHoundette.

EMNH phoned demanding I do her washing as I had left her without a machine. I complied I want to at least try to do right.

Then I cooked her dinner, we had a bit of a cuddle and watched some Toy Story 2.

I took her home and I think mostly she had a good day.  It's all very, very sad.

I went for dinner at a friend's house.

It hit me that she had been seeing this man while I was at work - in my house. Sleeping with him there.

She had given me her sheets and dirty knickers to was.  How much hatred does this was have for me? How could she humiliate so completely. Such stuff is the kinky world of cuckolds and their like.

I told her this was not to happen again by email. I have not heard from her since.

After anaesthnetizing at my friend's - drinking until I could no longer stand up, SUnday was a subdued afair.

I spent much time thinking. A whisper from a quiet corner suggested that perhaps Karma was at work- NoozeHound had left his first wife for another woman.

The more I thought, EMNH had told me; not quite as she portrays herself, but told me it was over and never answered my pleas to put it right. She ahd tried to keep her affair away from me and private. She had tried to tell me it was over.

It was my delusional inability to see what was before me.

I'm glad for my sanity that I got out - 'What a fool believes' was a very approriate song wasn't it.

Sunday was very restrained and a little odd because I knew I would be deinking later I couldn't kick back and relax inthe sun with a few cold ones.

I went to see the old friend from Thursday. We walked to the local and enjoyed a few glasses together. It was nice to smile and laugh for a change. It felt good being out on a school night - there must be some benefits.

I have accepted EMNH is just that; an ex. She can't hurt me anymore. She tore my heart from my chest, spat on it and kicked it laughing all the while up and down the street.

I still love her though. My world is a sadder, quieter more lonely place without her in it.

Of course I know I shall hear from her again - demanding money or requiring care for the NoozeHoundette so she can meet her married man.  It will be demanding, or screaming or a courteous text/email asking me to babysit.

It won't be to clean her soiled sheets - that I guarantee.


I robbed this from Postsecret -I hope the author doesn't mind but I find myself asking the same questions:

Welcome to the disappointment