Summer is quickly turn to the chill of Autumn inthe land of NoozeHound.
The weather hasn't helped. It feels like we will never see the sun again.
This morning she was rushed, slightly off-hand. She looked beautiful, if showing a tiny bit too much boob. (She wears the dress for church, we're not talking slut here.)
She pours scorn on my flattering comments. I tell her legs look lovely.
"...From all the working out I've been doing. Oh Yeah." she sneers.
She kept me aroud to pay the bills and cheated on me with a married man.
That is to what I must reconcile myself. She made no attempt to save our relationship or warn me of what may happen. She told me we are not together, but never answered me about putting us together - I can only believe this was to keep me paying the billls.
She just wanted a semi-blameless, somehow honourable affair with a marrried man from work.
When I knew for certain that she no longer loved me and had gone to the arms of another I could not stay in that house. Who in truth, with any compassion could blame me?
I have not emailed her today. I miss contact from her. By not contacting her do I open the doors for contact with her lover - though I know my emails would have been sitting beside his (and his wife's by some accounts) in her mail box. She may even forward mine to him, laughing at me.
I have written an email I have yet to send. It makes the position clear.
I am not sure if my timing needs closer scrutiny.
My heart hurts. I want to go and hide somewhere. I feel close to tears if I were that way inclined.
Fake it 'til you feel it.
Welcome to the disappointment.
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We can't both be right, it's probably me.
What say you esteemed visitor?